Squirrels In The Attic
by lovesrainscent
Summary: Silly little fluff piece between Shikaku and Yoshino. Romantically humorous or humorously romantic but only slightly naughty.


**Title: **Squirrels In The Attic

**Author: **Lovesrainscent

**Pairing:** Shikaku/Yoshino

**Rating: **T

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Naruto or these characters and stand to make no profit from posting this story.

**Summary: **

_The Athenians govern the Greeks; I govern the Athenians; you, my wife, govern me; your son governs you ~ Themistocles of Athens circa 480 B.C.  
_

**Squirrels In The Attic**

"Shikaku...?"

"Shikaku...?"

At some level of subconsciousness he vaguely thought he heard his name. But it was the middle of the night and things seemed peaceful enough in his household for the moment. He must have been dreaming he thought as he started to drift back off to sleep.

"Shikaku!" his wife hissed his name in his ear.

"Mmmmff," he mumbled in answer.

"Shikaku, do you hear anything?"

He thought about pointing out the obvious. He did indeed hear Yoshino's own voice stage-whispering in his ear. Nara Shikaku was not known as Konoha's master strategist for naught, however, so he carefully steered a middle course and responded in a neutral tone, muttering a muffled "Hear what?" into his pillow.

"That noise. I thought I heard something," Yoshino propped herself up on one elbow, and cocked her head to the side straining to catch the faint sound again.

"I didn't hear anything," her husband reassured her. "Go back to sleep."

"I thought _I _did," she insisted. Shikaku sighed, trying to drift off again himself.

Several minutes ticked by.

"Shikaku..."

"Shikaku..."

Her voice was a senbon, needling its way into his mind, interrupting his blessed sleep. Perhaps if he pretended that he really had fallen deeply asleep in such a short time she'd drop it...

"Shikaku..."

"Shikaku..."

_"Shikaku...!"_

The lone senbon was quickly becoming a volley of them targeting his awareness. If he didn't respond soon she'd up the ante and switch to verbal-kunai attack mode.

"What!" he huffed, flopping over onto his back. Although he wasn't quite sure why they were whispering since they were both very clearly awake by now.

"I thought I heard something."

"It's probably Shikamaru, must've gotten a drink of water or something," he grumbled.

"No, it's not Shikamaru. This noise..." she jerked her chin up, eyes peering intently at the ceiling, indicating in the weak moonlight that filled the room that the sound was coming from above them. "I think there's a squirrel in the attic," she announced with certainty.

"I don't hear it."

_scritch-scritch-scritch_

"There!" Yoshino announced triumphantly, punctuating the statement with a poke to his ribs. "Didn't you hear it?"

Shikaku told her that he had in fact not heard anything, other than her own fierce whispers. Although he admitted inwardly there might actually be something there. Ever since Shikamaru had been born she'd developed preternatural hearing. But still, so what? If it was a squirrel, big deal. Perhaps if he continued to deny the existence of said squirrel there was at least a possibility that she might let him go back to sleep.

_scritch-scritch-scritch_

"Didn't you _hear_ that?!?" Another poke in the ribs.

"No," he now lied, mumbling again into the pillow. Deny everything he thought.

**_Rumble!Rumble!Rumble!_**

This time there was no mistaking it. Apparently, there was a full-blown squirrel smack-down of two or more of the fluffy-tailed little rodents going on directly above their heads. Vindicated, Yoshino sat bolt upright in bed. "Okay, now, Jounin Commander-_sama_. Surely you heard_ that!"_

"Yeah, okay," he agreed grumpily. "There's probably a couple of squirrels up there. Go back to sleep."

"Go back to sleep?!? But there are _squirrels_ in the attic!"

"So? What do you want me to do about it?" Idly, Shikaku wondered what his wife would do if there were actually an invasion of foreign ninja or something more formidable than squirrels threatening their domestic tranquility. _Alleged_ domestic tranquility he corrected himself mentally.

"What do I want you to do about it? I want you to_ get_ them!"

"Yoshino!" he grumbled through gritted teeth. "I proctored your Chuunin exam. I _know_ what you can do to squirrels. After three days your team was the only one to come out of the Forest of Death well-fed having subsisted on something other than soldier pills and grilled minnows! You can kill, skin and gut a squirrel faster than any kunoichi I know. If they bother you, why don't _you_ go get the squirrels?"

If there were any weapon his wife wielded more skillfully than her tongue it was silence. Yes, the razor sharp tanto of silence sliced through the air between them. She could wait, thin-lipped, eyes staring daggers at him in the darkness throughout all eternity if need be until he complied. He knew that the solution was simple, the math inarguable in her mind.

_his house + his wife + the squirrels = his problem_

"Fine!" he huffed again kicking off the covers and getting out of bed. He hesitated, standing by his side of the bed, wondering the quintessential question all men face when confronted with a threat to their household in the middle of the night..._"where are my pants?"_

"If you would put your things away properly you'd know where your pants were!" Yoshino opined waspishly as if reading his mind.

Shikaku gritted his teeth and stumbled around, finally locating a pair of pants and yanking them on, upsetting a bedside table in the process, several items rattling to the floor.

"Be quiet!" Yoshino hissed, "You'll scare them away."

For a moment the elder Nara thought about pointing out that logically this would solve the problem. However he realized that this had now escalated beyond the squirrels themselves, if indeed it had ever had anything to do with them. Nope, simply put this was about _her_ getting _him _to do what _she_ wanted him to do.

Shikaku started to stomp to the attic stairs his wife's voice trailing behind him, "Don't wake up Shikamaru - he has a busy day tomorrow."

Sure. Fine. Whatever. His _son_ had a mission tomorrow. He himself just had a meeting with the Hokage. And the council along with that douche Danzo. Akatsuki movements and troop reviews and jounin rank promotions to consider, fortifications and border staffing assignments. But _first _he had to get rid of the damned squirrels since _they _were the most immediate threat to Konoha's safety.

He paused at the top of the attic stairs, judging the faint moonlight trickling in to be sufficient - squirrels were small, it wouldn't take much of a shadow to restrain them.

Flicker of motion caught his attention and he soon had one then both squirrels caught in his shadow. For the briefest of moments he thought about just strangling them and being done with it. But looking into their little beady eyes, feeling the rapid little heartbeats through the shadow he took pity on them and opened up the attic ventilation window then shooed them out quietly.

"Did you get them?" Yoshino asked suspiciously as he returned to bed.

"I took care of it," Shikaku answered truthfully, yawning.

"If you didn't kill them, they'll just be back," his wife grumbled back at him.

"We'll deal with it later," he answered, peeking at the alarm clock and wincing to know that morning was so close at hand.

* * *

Daybreak came far too soon. Yawning and stretching he eyed the rosy fingers of dawn through the window.

Allowing himself just five more minutes he savored the comfort of his bed a bit longer. From the kitchen he could hear the light clatter of dishes and smell the tasty breakfast that his wife was cooking. Recognizing that he could put off the inevitable no longer he yawned, stretched again, got out of bed, made his morning ablutions then dressed and went downstairs for breakfast.

Yoshino of course was up, looking much brighter than he felt. He noticed that Shikamaru must have already eaten and left for the day, she was clearing his tea cup and plate away. She made fresh tea and served it as well as salmon, miso soup, natto and rice. He eyed his plate suspiciously. Salmon was one of his favorites, and they didn't have it often since Shikamaru wasn't partial to it.

He thanked her and began to eat in silence, mentally running through his list of meetings for the day. It was going to be a miserable one. First, he had_ all _of them,_ all at once_, Koharu, Tsunade, Danzo, Homura, Kakashi and Gai and the rest of his senior joiunin. Then Tsunade was undoubtedly going to chew him out over the latest Team Gai debacle. Gai was just going to have to learn to control that overly enthusiastic pup of his. Later in the day there would be the daimyo who was insisting on some sort of "military review" when he really just ought to be home tending to his koi rather than wasting hard-working ninja's time on pomp and circumstance. Then there was...

"I'm sorry," Yoshino said softly after a while.

"Hmmm? What?" he answered somewhat distracted.

"About last night. I'm sorry I bothered you."

"Oh, well, never mind. It's all over with now," he replied waiting for her to point out that it really wasn't over if he hadn't killed them. They both knew the determined little bastards would be back any day.

"Yes, but it's just...I knew you had a busy day ahead and...I'm sorry."

She was leaning over to clear his plate. He glanced at her yukata, he didn't recognize it, faint floral print against a dark blue background. It must be new, he mused, sipping his tea. As she reached for his soupbowl, her hair curtained down over one shoulder. Too late, he realized she was wearing it down, soft, loose, the way he liked it. Soft. Deceptively soft. He was instantly on his guard.

"I just wish you didn't have to leave so early...that you could have rested more..."

He sighed, rising from the table. It couldn't be helped. Yes, he was tired, but that didn't change the fact that he still had the rest of the day to get through. "Well, I should be going now."

"I know..." her voice sounded strangely forlorn, wistful even. He paused to look at her standing there dainty, demure, _dangerous._

He mumbled something along the lines of 'see you this evening' as he turned and she added, "I just wish you could have stayed in bed...or maybe...come back to bed..."

He was almost at the door when he heard that. Somehow she'd managed to stop with her own special brand of _Shikaku kagemane no jutsu._

Foot poised in mid-stride, hand almost at the door he stopped and turned to look at her. Was she seriously suggesting _sex? Now? _ When he had all these meetings to go to?

Shikaku realized he was trapped. The meeting couldn't start without him. The entire council of elders would be, was probably already, waiting for him. If he turned Yoshino down, there'd be hell to pay for who knew how long at his home. But if he showed up late...

If he showed up late Tsunade would smirk at him, she'd probably figure it out.

Koharu would scowl.

Gai at least would be clueless but Kakashi would...

Kakashi would already be there....waiting on _him.._..

The shadow ninja smiled. For once, the cocky-little son-of-a-bitch would be waiting on _someone else_. And he, Shikaku could show up after having done more than read a book and wash his hands!

Talk about indulgent! Decadent. Probably even dereliction of duty. But _oh_ how sweetly savored. Shikamaru was out. They had the whole house to themselves. And he could be late...just this once.

Besides, Yoshino damn well knew his schedule. She managed most of his appointments for him. Of course she_ knew._ Hell, he wouldn't be surprised if she'd enlisted the squirrel's help last night.

Somehow, she'd found her way into his arms. "You know," she whispered slyly, "You really should be rested, _refreshed_, for such a strenuous round of important meetings today."

Her husband chuckled against. "So making love to you this morning is purely all in the best interests of Konoha, huh?"

"Absolutely," she assured him. "And all you have to do is lie back and think of Konoha."

He leaned to kiss her, whispering, "My dear, I have never yet figured out how you manage to be both my enemy and my ally at the same time."


End file.
